Simulated Suburban Parent

i have it pretty easy when it comes to the tasks that most parents of 9 year old kids in affluent countries usually do.  No PTA meetings, no soccer practice, no trips to the drug store for medicine (our tripper system handles this quite nicely) and the like.  So today i got a precious taste of the life many of my class and age peers must deal with on a regular basis.

It started simple enuf.  Orion (Susan and Milos son who is around Willows age) had a sleep over at school.  I was tasked (i thought) with picking up Orion and a couple of friends and bringing them to the Fair Trade Festival.  Before i left Milo asked me if i wanted directions, i said i had my handy new smart phone with GPS and he replied “When the computer gets you lost you can call me.” I should have realized this was more prophecy than humor when he said it.

 

Sure enuf, not 20 minutes into the trip the GPS went into permanent “Searching for GPS” mode and promptly became useless.  Milo guided me into the friends school in Virginia Beach, where after convincing the teacher that i was not trying to kidnap these kids, by having her talk with Susan on the phone, the 5 of us set off.  The first thing i discovered is that they were not all going to the same place i was, they were going to their respective homes, which they had little idea how to get to.  Aswan (sp?) had the best idea, so i thought i would start with him.  After getting lost and recovering we arrived at Aswan’s home.  No one else was home.  I called Susan.  Turns out Aswan is actually supposed to be at a class in town.

The kids start to direct me, but quickly loose interest, because they are playing their game consoles and soon i am lost.  Now they cant help, the GPS is still down, i call Susan and she is unsure except to get back on the freeway somehow, since i am not yet close to Norfolk.  Kurt now recognizes his street and directs me to his place.  We finally find Aswans class and land Willow and Orion at the FTF.

I did not get upset during our little adventure, but i did ask several times for them to stop playing their games to help me get them where they were going.  And i realized that real suburban parents have to do this type of stuff all the time.

About paxus

a funologist, memeticist and revolutionary. Can be found in the vanity bin of Wikipedia and in locations of imminent calamity. buckle up, there is going to be some rough sledding.

2 responses to “Simulated Suburban Parent”

  1. Susan says :

    The thing I’m most jealous of is the group of people you have to help watch your son. There are so many things I cannot do because there is no one my son feels comfortable enough spending several days/nights with, while I run off to express my opinions/beliefs. This reluctance to either bring a young child (mine is 6) or leave him at home works to great advantage of the ruling class.

  2. paxus says :

    @Susan: indeed – child care for the revolution!

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