The myth is that people who are polyamorous are more dangerous as romantic intimates because they have more transmissions vectors pointing at them. The reality is that most people who are serious about poly have pretty good safe sex practices, know more about these hazards than their monogamous counterpart and get tested regularly.
It is common for new intimates to slow their sexual dance to wait for STI test results. And so one of my first dates with Mac (Aka MacGyver or Surprise Umlaut Acorn) is to the Cville free clinic. There are actually 8 of us from Twin Oaks and Acorn here for testing today plus two kids of one of the members. We carpool so it is common for us to take over the waiting room (and show up early to avoid the long line for these free services).
The clinic staff is likely consider us high impact. One of the kids is crying occasionally, we are talking with the other patients (something which is pretty rare in an STI clinic waiting room usually) and we are laying down on the furniture, laughing, talking occasionally loudly to each other.
I am a hard person to be romantically involved with
. There are several reasons for this. First and foremost is that I am sloppy, I forget things, especially my agreements to call people back on the phone. I double book times with regularity, occasionally canceling at the last minute. Add to this that I am on call for all manner of things, someone needs help getting out of jail, someone else is having a relationship breakdown, a big hammocks customer is freaking out about a delivery. UVa’s 5 East is the psych ward, my smart phone has placed it’s number on my frequently called list. This means that there often is no Plan A, because things change so regularly.
Mac shows up with the flexibility and grace it takes to handle my barrage of busyness. On short notice she jumped into the car with me to do a long distance sales trip, which we had great fun with. And when I showed up at Acorn at midnight the other day offering to take her to Richmond to pick up Pilgrim with me, she politely declined, having just returned from a road trip herself, recognizing that we might not see each other again for weeks or possibly months. You need good boundaries in this dance with me.
She is delightfully comfortable with poly, bonding quickly with Abigail at the communities conference dance and appreciating my other intimates. At parties and social events she is as busy and distracted as I am leaving me with the luxurious open handed feeling that I appreciate.
She escaped her marketing career in condo time shares to come to Acorn about a year and a half ago and has been learning and growing happily in the commune culture. She has a critique of the mainstream status quo, but does not let it get in the way of enjoying the things which she has found that are better. She will take an open mic and entertain, when she has no script – a type of daring I especially appreciate.
Mac/Surprise w/ Darla Acorn at the Heritage Harvest Festival
She is fiercely loyal, chasing a thief barefoot thru an ally of broken glass to rescue a guitar stolen from a friend. She has a classy fearlessness throwing a beer at an old sexual assailant who refused to leave a party they both found themselves at. Generous in cash and spirit, her’s is the shoulder you want to be crying on, should that be your need. As it is mine from time to time.
I am looking forward to the test results from our visit to the clinic.