Transparency Party

Several people have said the most useful piece of the Loud Love event was the transparency tools workshop.   i was powerfully reminded that while the tools are useful, what appears to be happening is that people are longing to be asked these revealing questions.  Given the smallest opportunity, most people will share deep feelings and vulnerable information about themselves, even with people they don’t know very well.

We have re-started the transparency group at Acorn.  There were a few people excited about it and a number of people who showed up when it happened who seemed to like it.  My original thought was that we should try to fuse Acorn’s more festive culture with this tool set and instead of having the classical, slightly formal transparency discussions, have transparency parties, where the format is more relaxed, less full group oriented with more smaller conversations.  Distracting food and drink could be part of it as well.

Picasso's girl in the mirror

Picasso’s girl before a mirror

Instead, at the first Acorn transparency event this year, we stuck to a more conventional format, with the group in a circle and a single person revealing themselves to everyone using several different tool sets.  And i was blown away again.

What was exciting for me was that one member of the group talked about their intense and difficult experience when they were young in urban gangs.  What was curious was i had actually heard this story from this person before, but i did not realize how big an identity piece it was for them.  How this violence had influenced their choice to leave their decaying urban center and ultimately settle into the commune sphere.  In the transparency context, i could connect the dots in a way i had not before.

let me see what is really inside you

let me see what is really inside you

We need another new word, it is the opposite of betrayal.  It is something more than just “bonding”.  What transparency groups do is build trust and connections.  i see it almost every time we do one.  i fear that this happens so rarely, that the need for these trust building experiences are not in sufficient demand.  if we are clever, we will change that.

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About paxus

a funologist, memeticist and revolutionary. Can be found in the vanity bin of Wikipedia and in locations of imminent calamity. buckle up, there is going to be some rough sledding.

5 responses to “Transparency Party”

  1. joanmazza says :

    I’d love to participate in the next one, if possible. Looks like an improved version of Radical Honesty.

  2. YangYi Hundertwasser says :

    I have experienced these honesty parties in the summer of 2002. I believe it helps us become ourselves, and I wish all to experience the true voices of people around us. We will know we are not alone, that we are wonderful.

    • YangYi Hundertwasser says :

      Have you also heard about Death Cafes? It is a casual gathering where people talk about death, which is a taboo topic in many peoples’ minds. I would like to organize one some time.

      • paxus says :

        Curious, i have not heard of these. It is not my first choice of taboo topics, and i can still image it being interesting.

        Next time you come down to the communes, lets organize one. Perhaps after the rave.

  3. tickledspirit says :

    Instead of betrayal, it’s more like betrothal. Not quite the right word, but I like it in contrast.

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