Why I date Commie boys

Guest Post by Erin

A few months ago, I told Paxus that I was thinking about dating _________, from Twin Oaks and wanted his opinion. Pax and I had recently had a few date encounters and were getting to know each other better after my hard break-up with another Twin Oaks member.
Paxus responded, ” Good choice….He’s a prince of a man…. You like the Commie boys, don’t you?”

Hmmm I thought about this. I do like the Commie boys. Why? Clementine’s response when I told her was “because they’re awesome!”
True , they are awesome but I live in mainstream. There should be plenty of ” awesome guys” out there, right?
Initially it wasn’t a conscious decision. I fell for the guy before I knew what Community was.  So what’s the draw? Dating a communard when you don’t live in community is hard work. They have limited access to transportation and money. You should expect to do the majority of the transportation and settle for free, or cheap activities. Or pick up the tab.

Communication can be a hassle too. Internet is often unreliable and cell phones are not the social norm on the commune and many carriers don’t work there. The landline phone system has improved, but calling a house or a building and actually getting to talk to the person you are trying to call is on the higher end of a gamble.
we just got these cool new phones in at Twin Oaks

we just got these cool new phones in at Twin Oaks

Also communards work hard….well….most of them. They don’t have 9 to 5 schedules; they often don’t get weekends off. They do have downtime but it’s often packaged and parceled out differently than what we are used to in mainstream. So scheduling can be challenging. Especially if you are dealing with poly situations and limited time resources. There were many times that my date time was spent in the garden with the rest of the crew planting or in the shop assisting with furniture making.

Why sign up for it again?  Here’s why: I’ll give you a sample of quotes from the mainstream dates I’ve had in the last year:
  • “If Hillary is elected, I will move to Texas and succeed from the United States.”
  • “You work with homeless people? Don’t you get tired of how entitled and draining they are on our economy?”
  • “Any woman who works in a titty bar is looking for her daddy.”
  • “What do you mean the entire pay scale of men goes down in a profession when a chick enters the male dominated workplace? Y’all have had equality for awhile now.”
  • “You like girls too? Fuck yeah a threesome!”
  • “Racism is bullshit, I see reverse racism all the time.”
I could go on but I hope you get the point. I don’t have to explain to Commie guys why I don’t allow my son to go out in public without a shirt to show respect to the fact that I would be arrested if I did that. I don’t have to argue about why I should have autonomy over my body. I don’t need to give them background on why I get teary eyed walking into a toy store that is set up like a bad 50’s commercial. Kitchen, brooms, and babies on one side and cars, weapons, and bullies on the other. I don’t need to explain why I’m kissing her and then holding hands with someone else. It’s worth every single inconvenience, every single damn challenge because Commie guys are what I want Mainstream guys to look like. and more.


[Edited by Judy Youngquest]


About paxus

a funologist, memeticist and revolutionary. Can be found in the vanity bin of Wikipedia and in locations of imminent calamity. buckle up, there is going to be some rough sledding.

6 responses to “Why I date Commie boys”

  1. MoonRaven says :

    Absolutely. This is what we want mainstream guys to look like–and this is what we want the mainstream to look like. We are just the leading edge.

  2. North Star says :

    There’s someone for everyone. Personally, I can’t imagine dating someone who gets teary eyed upon entering a toy store.

    • Erin says :

      Haha! I don’t cry when I enter a toy store but I do get teary eyed with frustration when I see that we are still socializing our children into stereotypical roles and it feels so pervasive. But whateves .

  3. rachel Hailey says :

    Love this! Thanks Erin.

  4. Kara says :

    Love the heck out of my ex-commie guy! He is teaches me things.

  5. Neil says :

    Dating is hard. Gets worse as you get older. Looks like you had at least six dates. (six quotes from mainstream dates). There must be a better way. But what is it? I like the idea of a working date, i.e. “my date time was spent in the garden with the rest of the crew planting or in the shop assisting with furniture making”. Okay, fine. I’d rather see my date in a natural setting, planting or making stuff, I think it reduces date anxiety. Talk about a bad 50’s commercial… Five of the six quotes from mainstream dates, in my view, show the dates have not suffered much in life, relative to others here and abroad. So perhaps the answer is to seek out and date people who have suffered in life, and who have gained empathy for others through the suffering process. A scene in the film Fight Club shows a young woman with cancer begging for someone to sleep with her. While fictional, the scene raises a question; would you date a dying person? Or are we all looking for the good times, however that is expressed for us? On a long enough time line, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. Or as Nina Simone sang in Mississippi, Goddamn, we are all gonna die like flies…

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