So the way i am creating community is i am telling stories about it. And as is my belief about engaging story tellers is they change their tale to suit their perception of the audiences desires.
As i tell the story about Chubby Squirrels, one of the pieces i have been stumbling over is the piece about single moms. While it is true i am interested in having moms who are poorly served by the communities movement given a chance to contribute as i have seen them in the right collective circumstances. What i think we are trying to emphasize in this project is something more complicated and richer.
Part of the problem is with the tag “single moms” first off it makes the kids somehow secondary, despite the fact that the single moms will be coming with their kids for at least some of the time. But really the problem is that the label is too limited.
“Extraordinary families” is my current terminology for what i want to include in this evolving story. This could include complicated poly families, like the one i am in – the Star Family. It could embrace single parents or folks like my friend Twiggy, who’s partner is at sea for a significant fraction of the year. And it could even be welcoming of more conventionally configured nuclear families – as long as the members of it had an extraordinary willingness to be part of a supernormal family.
After ten years i am becoming less consistently available around Willow. This vacation of two months will be the longest time i have spent apart from him since he was born. What is often said is that the Star family moves like a super tanker, so we (Hawina, Sky and i) started talking about this trip 9 months ago. My absence will be broken up by Willow going out with Sky to California for a couple of weeks and i will see him briefly when i come back thru in a week.
Willow and i spent the last night i was at Twin Oaks together. We went thru the negotiations around me staying him until he feel asleep, then going out and doing the tree climbing full moon ritual with Shal, then coming back to bed with WIllow in Morningstar and then leaving him in the morning before he woke up. Willow was not excited about this sleep schedule, but he signed off on it.
It took til midnight for Willow to fall asleep, so Shal and i started late and ended only by 4 AM and i did not make it back to Willow til 5AM set my alarm for 7:30 and slept right thru it.
At 9:15 i wake up at basically the same time as my son who turns to me with that special 10 year old comic-critical look and says only “Fail”